Album Review: Post Malone’s “Beerbongs & Bentleys”

I’ve made it no secret that I have issues with Post Malone. Hell, most of you probably have seen my review of Stoney where I panned the record for being flaccid, sloppily produced, excruciatingly performed, awfully written, and generally a complete chore to get through, or you’ve seen how he’s wound up on multiple year-end lists for the worst hit songs of various years. And that’s before we get to his comments surrounding hip-hop as an artform and how if you’re looking for emotional, evocative music, don’t listen to hip-hop, which reveals far more about the mercenary attitude beneath the good-natured, doofy demeanor that makes all the posturing look utterly transparent. And frankly I didn’t know how he can walk away from that – for Post Malone to be within the culture and not aware of artists who can deliver a poignant, powerful message, he’d have to be impressively ignorant, utterly callous, or a complete moron – possibly all three.

But the unfortunate truth is that he has been enabled and allowed to walk away from it, because his massive audience of white kids just looking for something to vibe to don’t give a shit about hip-hop culture that inspires the art form and aren’t going to stop listening to him on Spotify, which is why this album is breaking streaming records. But I do care about hip-hop culture and history: yes, I know I’m not really a part of it but I can sure as hell respect it, and when I look at my long-standing qualifiers for artistic culture exchange – know and respect the foundation points and history, work with those in the community, and then deliver something of quality – Post Malone at most gets one out of three. And thus while I knew for this channel’s viability that I had to cover this record – yeah, ‘Candy Paint’ is on it, but so is ‘rockstar’, a song I genuinely despise, and the damn thing is over an hour long – I cannot say I was looking forward to it. But hey, Post Malone has made songs that are tolerable, maybe this won’t be that bad?

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